A meaningful and reflective Mother’s Day to all the mothers and “mothers” I know. I can’t wish you a Happy Mother’s Day because it’s not always a happy day for many people.
At 5.50 am we were woken up by our little angel-monsters walking up the stairs to bring us coffee and our favourite breakfast. Mine was soggy muesli and T’s was soggy cornflakes (I’m hoping the dog has found the bowls and cleared them before said angel-monsters discover them). The coffee was weak but it was made in the espresso machine and there was remarkably little mess in the kitchen. This is the first time these guys have managed to do something for us on Mother’s Day and I feel so grateful to the people who helped us bring them into this world and the people who are helping us nurture them into the wonderful creatures they are. I asked Number One how he managed to get Number Two up – asking for tips for the weekdays when Number Two refuses to get up. “Easy,” he said. “I rubbed him like this on the chest”, showing me (quite hard, I must say) “and I said to him, this is for our moms who do so much for us”. So there you have it: a bit of pain and a bit of guilt-tripping.
This post is to say we see you:
The mothers I’ll see at work soon – the nurses and doctors and cleaners and admin staff and others who will be working today.
The colleagues who mother other people’s children while someone mothers theirs in a beautiful cycle.
The mothers who mother our middle class children while theirs are at home somewhere far away.
The mothers who no longer have a child of their own to mother.
The mothers who gave up their children because they couldn’t provide the life they needed.
The adoptive mothers who face misunderstanding of how real their bond is.
The mothers who created some of the many amazing colleagues I work with – thank you!
The mothers who battle infertility, sometimes bringing a live child into the world and sometimes not. And the people who helped them bring those children to being: the embryologists, nurses, admin staff, radiologists, fertility specialists – I will forever gratefully be in your debt.
The “mothers” who are generous, caring male friends and colleagues who provide unconditional love and support.
The surrogate mothers who slip in and out of our lives giving of themselves to tend the wounds in other people’s psyches.
The mothers who mother without support of their own mothers.
The mothers who keep on going day after day despite the threat of the most profound loss hanging over them.
To all these mothers and mother-figures: thank for all you do and continue to do.
